Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Background: Though the delinquent children seem to merely die of various causes throughout the film, in fact they have been captured by Wonka’s Oompa-Loompas and subsequently raped while Wonka watched with hand down pants.

Jump to final scene.

INT. WONKA’S WAITING ROOM

GRANDPA JOE (to self)
Wait a sec, those damned freaks have just been raping all the kids, and Charlie’s next!

Grandpa Joe breaks off a candy cane growing in the flower pot nearby, and thrusts it into Charlie’s Chest.

CHARLIE
Grandpa Joe, noooo!!! Even if I don’t give the Everlasting Gobstopper to Slugworth, we can still live happily!

GRANDPA JOE
I’m doing this for your own good Charlie.

WONKA
What the hell is going on out there!?! I was saving that handsome boy for myself!

Grandpa Joe rips the candy cane from Charlie’s chest and turns to face the candy-crazed Wonka, staring into his eyes.

WONKA
The suspense is terrible…I hope it’ll last.

Grandpa Joe lunges at Wonka stabbing him repeatedly in the abdomen. Then he turns around to see what he can only imagine are at least 100 Oompa-Loompas ready to attack.

OOMPA-LOOMPAS
Oompa-Loompa doo-pity deet, I see a grandpa ready to eat.

The Oompa-Loompas attack. They begin gnawing at Granpa Joe’s legs. One jumps on his shoulders taking him to the ground. Grandpa Joe still holds the remains of the candy cane. He shoves it into his jugular until he loses consciousness. The Oompa-Loompas continue to feast.

WONKA (His dying words)
Everything here is eatable, I mean edible, I mean you can eat everything.

Fade to black

No comments: